I just finished watching the movie, "Out of Africa". I've heard of it, maybe. There was nothing else that seemed as potentially interesting so I gave it a shot. It had Meryl and Redford in it. I trust their acting. It took me a good half hour to get over the subjugation of British occupation. I didn't even like the characters Meryl and Red included because of it. No matter how nice she was or how pleased her servant(s) looked to be it could erase the fact that she was living in this house and they were not. Just couldn't let it go for a while as they attempted to create little Britain in wild Africa. I began to take interest after Red took Meryl away from the quarrel scene at the party. She thought the African children should be taught how to read. Red offered that they had a language. Meryl took this as saying Red believed they were better off ignorant- to which Red sharply replied, "They're not ignorant. I just don't want to turn them into little Englishmen." Hmmm...I thought to myself. There's a question. Which is the freedom fighter there. Well, both and neither. The presence of their is an automatic disqualifier so neither it is. Then he took her out on safari. While I feel somewhat sorry for the lions, the love dynamic there was interesting. He leaves, he returns, he leaves, returns. Then she asks that he doesn't mind being with a married woman. I don't recall it being specifically a 'why' question. Not sure that answer would have surrendered any greater understanding anyway.
They finally get into the subject more deeply in front of the fire another night. Red espouses to believe that marriage will not legitimize their relationship anymore in his heart than it already is. Meryl wants the security that having someone (and in fact something provides. This is explored earlier in the film). Red has his mind made up. He says he's not interested in another woman but does like his space from her even from time to time. (I almost wrote from time to tim...HAHAHAHAHHHH...CLEARS THroat..........). Despite her great "love" for him, she decides that the situation as is does not suit her. She gives him an ultimatum which spells his eviction notice. This conversation though, I was enthralled in it. I've had something like it before but never quite that heavily. I've never loved the person I had it with. I could really connect with what Red was saying but I've also heard Meryl's voice.
This matrix for love reminds me of something Muta Baruka was saying about how Rasta tried to appreciate Selassie through a Christian mindset because it was what they knew. So instead of simply supreme he became super nature as they affixed greater titles upon him summoned from biblical text. They did so because it was where their understanding came from. One cannot catalog something for which they have no taxonomic code. So, Selassie became God and Love is spelled like this.
I caught a scathing email the other night/morning. It hit fairly hard at first. Then I considered and felt better about what was also being said. I asked my best friend who'd been in a similar position and she suggested the best response might be a response. I thought a second (maybe two) and said no. I decided to be patient and faithful that the thing that the best would be. Maybe this is only first half an hour of an epic. I'm not sure. My faith tells me what it always does though, Hakuna Matata. The best will be.
pardon any imperfections in my reflection
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