Polite Rebellion

This movie is so special to me now. I love the story and will find a way to get it on my phone so I can carry it around.

NAS & DAMIAN "JR GONG" MARLEY DISTANT RELATIVES preview from nabil elderkin on Vimeo.

"The fool stares at the finger that points to the sky"

Amelé

Just finished watching HawthoRNe (online). It was alright. I think there are really workable plot points. It'll have to work things out a bit more though. The pilot felt like they tried to fit a lot of information and make you care about a lot of people at once.

The music has me thinking about a few things. I'm listening to AKeys "Lesson Learned" now. I think I burn myself. A friend came by and told me I might be stifling my co-workers in my pursuit of perfection for them. Ahhhh, there's the rub-"for them". Hmmmn

I got an email from the Indo correspondent that said the first 21 ETAs got their letters so they can begin their Visa applications. She made it sound like they knew who they were. I guess I'm not one. Maybe it's because my last name starts with a W. Played ball today. No W there. My defense is sharper but my shooting is still off during the game. In the shoot-around afterward, wet. During the game, brick city. Not sure why. I stayed about an hour after just working on the wrist action and penetration.

I'm on my way to the other side of the earth if all goes well. I go alone it seems. I was looking at a previous ETA's pictures. I think this experience is made to be. I thank God for his mercy and grace. Life is awesome. Even if I'm not happy, I'm glad others are happy and growing.

I get a lot of pats on the back. Expectations seems high. I wonder sometimes. I wonder a lot. I'm not wandering. I'm moving in a definite direction. Ha! But, I guess wandering and moving in a definite direction aren't easily distinguishable from the outside.

I wrote today. The key to academic intelligence is understanding relationships. The key to social intelligence is understanding value. Seem backwards? It's not. I think it's a glimmer of the brilliance God has promised. I am not destined for greatness for my own sake. I don't even think it'll manifest in a way socially acceptable or recognizable. It is greatness for God. I realize that I'm a vessel no more sacred than a vase. It's God's spirit and purpose breathing through my lungs and out that generate the power. POWER!

This morning I drove some guys to the airport. On the way up we listened to Drake. I thought we were going to be late. I stopped by a Starbucks on the way back and realized why the caramel crap was a best seller. As I drove back, I decided to seize the opportunity to preview the Radiohead music I had just bought. It also began to rain. The music was so perfect for the ocassion. I tried to describe it to myself and after several trials, I decided on this. Andre 3000 and Paul McCartney had a love child that fell in love with Hendrix's music at a Glastonbury while tripping on acid and vowed to bend more laws. That's a rough interpretation. The drive back was an awesome experience. Words flowed from me. I recorded some, memorized others. I can only make out about 10% of what is being said. I think the lyrics operate best as both poetic accompaniment to be read and enjoyed as well as an accessory instrument. I'm listening to Kid A and two tracks from In Rainbows. My favorite songs right now are Nude & Kid A. I look forward to what spills.

Enjoy Father's day

I really wish I could hear her cover the whole song. Her rendition is so strong it could very well be her song.


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Impromptu Extension
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Heartless
I dig this song but didn't when I first heard it. Mostly, I dug it because it was a leak. I dug that. Seemed like Kanye was really wanting people to hear his music. Never mind the sales for the time being; he wanted you to hear the music, unfinished. I think part of the reason that I didn't like it is because I didn't agree with the delivery. I think the song has the wrenching sound in the chorus break but still, the song feels rushed for the feeling it evokes in me. I think this Lady Gaga take is the way my heart feels it. Slowly, like a sobering thought.

I don't think I've ever really had this feeling though. The scenario is not native to my own heart but I have experienced it through others.



It's a sobering thought.



I've noticed a pattern in my relationships. The cycle began in college. Not sure if its emotional immaturity, impatience or ____. I've met some great young women. People I respect, admire, and genuinely care about.

Ummi said once that just because two people are good doesn't mean they are good for each other. She spoke wisdom to me. A wisdom beyond me but welcoming.


Perhaps hearts need fear. Maybe it's like reason's fire alarm. I asked her to put away her fears. Then, I set a fire.

I am sorry. I am not hearless.

I desire a soft spot to sit under this tree I know. Some fresh air would do well enough. A hug or some reassurance that life is going as scheduled would be warm and welcome. I saw a tree once in Georgia on my father's land. It was away and off in the distance. I thought it was beautiful and often would pause on the red and rocky road to gaze at it over there. I like the tree but it made me feel sad. The land was hilly and rolled into the woods. The tree lining was sparse and especially so near this one. It stood triumphantly and alone. Perhaps it was peric victory.

So,

So I've been doing some major product research and planning for Indonesia and the month after. I've pretty much cornered my clothing retailers to Ralph and J. Crew. I am not looking to get a lot of clothes. I want to travel light. It's still hard to believe that a few months from now I'll be in Indonesia- the other side of the world teaching & learning.