ASUS P5GC-MX - motherboard - micro ATX - i945GC specs and Motherboard specifications - CNET Reviews
Got my main hardrive from home here. Now I'm trying to make it work with this slower system. For some reason it will read my primary c-drive (160GB) but not my secondary d-drive (500GB). The d is where I stored all of music and the bulk of my other media.
While it may seem like this blog has gone quietly into the Yan, I assure younit hasn't. Over the last two months I've developed and maintained a separate blog with WordPress (GASP) to chronical my journey on this Fulbright to Indonesia. I'm teaching now and things have settled since the move around sparked by the Earthquake in Padang, my original site. Most of the people reading my WordPress are friends but there are some potential employers and students reading and so despite my best efforts, full disclosure seems unwise. So, I think I'll return here for the nittier prose and qualms.
Hey, um looking very seriously into getting that MBP 2.66 now. Since they change their configurations, the descreet graphics card is only a 256 for the GT, but at this point, the savings will aptly constitute the compromise. The question is: do I want to get the 2.8/512 spc and live with only $450 for two months (including a trip to Bali) or get the 2.66/256 spec and live with $950 for two months (including the trip to Bali). I'll take the 2.66. I want to be able to travel to Bali and Monado between December and February. I dreamed of beautiful beaches last night. I saw friends from te states there (Tahiti) and it really got me looking forward to te possibilities available with $950 to spare. This is kinda tough for me as I usually like having the best of __ if I can. I'll get over it this time. And hey, maybe I'll stumble upon an older 2.66/512 floating in the wild. You never know.
Glad to be back.
but the confit looks NAS-TY
Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are.
Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.
- Captain Corelli's Mandolin
A friend called this morning. The ring woke me up and the conversation reminded me of the value of fellowship. I need to be calling folks up, staying in touch. Especially now as I embark for such a long time.
Just waiting to hear about the visa. At this point, I'll have to red-eye to DC to file it. Hakuna Matata
my posting patterns, it seems at best I'm a musician and at worst, a rebel. Following my musicianship is my wandering spirit. Then you have my scholarship, my designer chops, and later the lover in me. Love is fifth. The sixth, comedy. I'm not...I'm pretty sure....I would not have chosen this arrangement if you'd laid out the options ahead of time and asked me to arrange them in order of relevance. Maybe many of the songs are about love. Let's see....haha nope. Maybe half to 40% of the songs deal with love. hm. information
You'll notice the new widget to the left.
2. D.O.A. (Produced by No I.D.)
3. Weigh Me Down Feat. Kid Cudi (Produced by Kanye West)
4. Unforgiven (Produced by Kanye West, Additional Production: MGMT)
5. Run This Town Feat. Rihanna & Kanye West (Produced by Kanye West)
6. Empire State of Mind Feat. Nas (Produced by Kanye West & No I.D.)
7. When It Comes To This (Produced by Timbaland)
8. Always Feat. Drake (Produced by Kanye West)
9. Scenes From The Past (Produced by No I.D., Co-produced by Kanye West)
10. Everyday A Star Is Born Feat. Mr. Hudson (Produced by Kanye West)
11. Already Home (Produced by Kanye West)
12. Forever Young Feat. Mr. Hudson (Produced by Kanye West)
13. Thank You (Produced by No I.D.)
For the answer, don't look to Microsoft. It still hasn't figured this out on phones. Witness how Windows Mobile always tried to jam the Windows desktop interface into a phone's tiny screen. Just goes to show that Microsoft is stuck selling Windows, not solutions. Microsoft execs think of Windows as a hammer, and everywhere around them are nails."
So I check kanye's blog pretty regularly. It's one of my routine stops when I first log onto the net. Just found this. Thought it worth repeating (hahaha, I almost wrote "retweeting". hahaaaaah....eeeeee)
I WAS JUST LISTENING TO WENDY WILLIAMS AND HEARD SOME QUOTE ABOUT ME SAYING I'M THE NEW KING OF POP. NOT ONLY DID I NOT SAY THAT, I HAVEN'T SAID ANYTHING. IT MAKES ME FEEL BAD THAT OBVIOUSLY I MADE PEOPLE FEEL THAT I WOULD BE CORNY ENOUGH TO SAY SOMETHING SO WHACK AFTER THE PASSING OF AN IDOL, A LEGEND AND MORE THAN THAT A HUMAN BEING WITH FEELINGS AND FAMILY. IT SCARES ME TO THINK WHAT PEOPLE WILL BELIEVE, WITHOUT EVEN A SOURCE. ANY RANDOM PERSON CAN TYPE SOMETHING ON THE INTERNET AND THEN THE WORLD BELIEVES IT. I DON'T TALK TO PRESS OR DO TV OR DO PROMOTIONS OF ANY SORT. I'VE STOPPED CHASING AND BUYING INTO FAME. FAME IS LIKE CIGARETTES WITH NO SURGEON GENERAL WARNING. IT DESTROYS MOST PEOPLE AS IT DID TO THE TRUE AND ONLY KING OF POP. WE EXPLOIT OURSELVES AND EAT OUR OWN EGOS 'TILL THERE IS NOTHING LEFT. I HAVE A FEELING THAT THIS WON'T BE THE LAST FALSE STATEMENT WITH MY NAME ON IT, BUT THIS WILL BE THE LAST TIME I DEFEND MYSELF. I'M DONE.
Considering real life
I just said pax to a very good friend. Our journey has been an awesome one. So special, I refused to see it end as a product of our break-up. Following days proved challenging and as things panned out, I wondered whether I had handled it with maturity. I experienced a similar outcome a few years ago. Back then I chose dishonesty. This time I was honest and had the same outcome. I worried/thought. The truth is always the best option despite the penalties. If truth is indeed the most important thing to me, I must subscribe to it no matter the consequences and assume that they can never outweigh the benefits self evident or not.
Like the last few minutes of half-time, work to be done calls. I have some things to work on. Gotta wrap up the next three weeks making smarter management, financial, social, and personal decisions. I haven't gotten the go ahead from the program.I think, in my nervousness, I've sought positive behaviors to put me at ease concerning this waiting period. I'm back to reading, calling friends, laying out in the grass, mixing up my days, taking pictures, tweeting, etc. It's been good
"The fool stares at the finger that points to the sky"
Just finished watching HawthoRNe (online). It was alright. I think there are really workable plot points. It'll have to work things out a bit more though. The pilot felt like they tried to fit a lot of information and make you care about a lot of people at once.
The music has me thinking about a few things. I'm listening to AKeys "Lesson Learned" now. I think I burn myself. A friend came by and told me I might be stifling my co-workers in my pursuit of perfection for them. Ahhhh, there's the rub-"for them". Hmmmn
I got an email from the Indo correspondent that said the first 21 ETAs got their letters so they can begin their Visa applications. She made it sound like they knew who they were. I guess I'm not one. Maybe it's because my last name starts with a W. Played ball today. No W there. My defense is sharper but my shooting is still off during the game. In the shoot-around afterward, wet. During the game, brick city. Not sure why. I stayed about an hour after just working on the wrist action and penetration.
I'm on my way to the other side of the earth if all goes well. I go alone it seems. I was looking at a previous ETA's pictures. I think this experience is made to be. I thank God for his mercy and grace. Life is awesome. Even if I'm not happy, I'm glad others are happy and growing.
I get a lot of pats on the back. Expectations seems high. I wonder sometimes. I wonder a lot. I'm not wandering. I'm moving in a definite direction. Ha! But, I guess wandering and moving in a definite direction aren't easily distinguishable from the outside.
I wrote today. The key to academic intelligence is understanding relationships. The key to social intelligence is understanding value. Seem backwards? It's not. I think it's a glimmer of the brilliance God has promised. I am not destined for greatness for my own sake. I don't even think it'll manifest in a way socially acceptable or recognizable. It is greatness for God. I realize that I'm a vessel no more sacred than a vase. It's God's spirit and purpose breathing through my lungs and out that generate the power. POWER!
This morning I drove some guys to the airport. On the way up we listened to Drake. I thought we were going to be late. I stopped by a Starbucks on the way back and realized why the caramel crap was a best seller. As I drove back, I decided to seize the opportunity to preview the Radiohead music I had just bought. It also began to rain. The music was so perfect for the ocassion. I tried to describe it to myself and after several trials, I decided on this. Andre 3000 and Paul McCartney had a love child that fell in love with Hendrix's music at a Glastonbury while tripping on acid and vowed to bend more laws. That's a rough interpretation. The drive back was an awesome experience. Words flowed from me. I recorded some, memorized others. I can only make out about 10% of what is being said. I think the lyrics operate best as both poetic accompaniment to be read and enjoyed as well as an accessory instrument. I'm listening to Kid A and two tracks from In Rainbows. My favorite songs right now are Nude & Kid A. I look forward to what spills.
Enjoy Father's day
I really wish I could hear her cover the whole song. Her rendition is so strong it could very well be her song.
I dig this song but didn't when I first heard it. Mostly, I dug it because it was a leak. I dug that. Seemed like Kanye was really wanting people to hear his music. Never mind the sales for the time being; he wanted you to hear the music, unfinished. I think part of the reason that I didn't like it is because I didn't agree with the delivery. I think the song has the wrenching sound in the chorus break but still, the song feels rushed for the feeling it evokes in me. I think this Lady Gaga take is the way my heart feels it. Slowly, like a sobering thought.
I don't think I've ever really had this feeling though. The scenario is not native to my own heart but I have experienced it through others.
It's a sobering thought.
I've noticed a pattern in my relationships. The cycle began in college. Not sure if its emotional immaturity, impatience or ____. I've met some great young women. People I respect, admire, and genuinely care about.
Ummi said once that just because two people are good doesn't mean they are good for each other. She spoke wisdom to me. A wisdom beyond me but welcoming.
Perhaps hearts need fear. Maybe it's like reason's fire alarm. I asked her to put away her fears. Then, I set a fire.
I am sorry. I am not hearless.
I desire a soft spot to sit under this tree I know. Some fresh air would do well enough. A hug or some reassurance that life is going as scheduled would be warm and welcome. I saw a tree once in Georgia on my father's land. It was away and off in the distance. I thought it was beautiful and often would pause on the red and rocky road to gaze at it over there. I like the tree but it made me feel sad. The land was hilly and rolled into the woods. The tree lining was sparse and especially so near this one. It stood triumphantly and alone. Perhaps it was peric victory.
I've heard great (good) things about the Palm Pre. Most of the praise centers around the OS. The new iPhone hardware and software is likely to be announched Monday. So, I reserve further comment till all the cards are on the table.
So I've been doing some major product research and planning for Indonesia and the month after. I've pretty much cornered my clothing retailers to Ralph and J. Crew. I am not looking to get a lot of clothes. I want to travel light. It's still hard to believe that a few months from now I'll be in Indonesia- the other side of the world teaching & learning.
The Need for a New Way Forward: Thoughts on a New York Times Article
An AoM reader tipped me off today to an interesting blog post from the New York Times. Entitled, “Dude, You’ve Got Problems,” Judith Warner spends the first part of the article bemoaning the still rampant homophobia amongst today’s young men. This kind of bullying is indefensible, and is an unfortunate aspect of growing up. But it was the second part of her article I found most interesting, particularly this section:
“Boys were showing each other they were tough. They were afraid to do anything that might be called girlie,” she told me this week. “It was just like what I would have found if I had done this research 50 years ago. They were frozen in time.”
Pascoe spent 18 months embedded in a Northern California working-class high school, in a community where factory jobs had gone south after the signing of Nafta, and where men who’d once enjoyed solid union salaries were now cobbling together lesser-paid employment at big-box stores. “These kids experience a loss of masculine privilege on a day-to-day level,” she said. “While they didn’t necessarily ever experience the concrete privilege their fathers and grandfathers experienced, they have the sense that to be a man means something and is incredibly important. These boys don’t know how to be that something. Their pathway to masculinity is unclear. To not be a man is to not be fully human and that’s terrifying.”
That makes sense. But the strange thing is, this isn’t just about insecure boys. There’s a degree to which girls, despite all their advances, appear to be stuck - voluntarily - in a time warp, too, or at least to be walking a very fine line between progress and utter regression.Spending unprecedented amounts of time and money on their hair, their skin and their bodies, at earlier and earlier ages. Essentially accepting the highly sexualized identity imposed on them, long before middle school, by advertisers and pop culture. In high school, they have second-class sexual status, Pascoe found, and by jumping through hoops to be sexually available enough to be cool (and “empowered”) yet not so free as to be labeled a slut, they appear to be complicit in maintaining it.
Why - given the full array of choices our culture ostensibly now allows them - are boys and girls clinging to such lowest-common-denominator ways of being?”
Ms. Warner clearly believes that the persistence of gender roles and characteristics is a lamentable thing, the root of much of the problems that plague our youth. While I disagree with her conclusions, she brings up some really interesting points.
I think for the last few decades we’ve tried the genderless society thing, and it hasn’t worked. And I think today’s generation understands that. They’ve been told their whole life that there aren’t any differences between men and women besides our genitalia, but everything in their own experience, in their day to day interactions with the opposite sex tells them this isn’t true.
Everywhere I go, when I talk to men and women my age (20-something), they want to take me aside and talk about how much they appreciate the Art of Manliness. They feel like it’s touched on something they’ve been thinking about, but haven’t yet been able to articulate. What’s interesting is that many of the people who thank me for the blog are women. Even more interesting is that no matter their background (whether conservative housewife or liberal career woman), they all pretty much express the same thing. They appreciate the advances women have made in the past fifty years, but they lament the loss of men and women embracing their complimentary gender differences. They want women to be women and men to be men. But they’re afraid that if they admit this, they’re being a traitor to women and the advances they’ve made.
And the men I meet want to embrace masculinity and man up, but like women, they’re afraid to. They’re afraid if they do, they’ll be labeled a patriarchal chauvinist.
I sense a growing movement out there of men and women who want to embrace positive gender differences. It’s under the radar and it hasn’t been discovered by the media yet. But it’s growing.
And now to return to Ms. Warner’s article. What we have going on is that young people today have the same sense of things that I just described, but they don’t have any idea what to do about it. There’s nothing out there that helps them understand their feelings and gives them direction on how to channel those feelings in productive, satisfying ways. They don’t have role models to emulate and people to teach them what manhood and womanhood is really about. The problem is not, as Ms. Warner believes, the persistence of gender roles themselves. The problem is that young people want to embrace gender roles but don’t know how to go about it. So you have boys trying to be cartoonishly tough and macho and girls becoming over-sexualized. All they have to go on is caricatures of manhood and womanhood.
For thousands of years the world was set with rigid gender roles, which had some positive aspects, but was also far too often fraught with sexism. Then with the feminism movement the pendulum swung too far in the other direction, attempting to dispense with gender all together. I think this generation wants a new way forward.
Can’t we keep much of the progress we have made, while taking back some of the positive aspects of gender enjoyed by our forbearers? Can’t girls have every opportunity in athletics, academics, and career, while also enjoying the feeling of taking care of her man? And can men not be allowed to enjoy baking and theater without being called gay, to be more hands on and nurturing with his kids and feel okay about crying sometimes, while also wanting to feel like a protector and leader?
Well, enough of my ranting, I thought some of the comments following the NYT article were equally good points. Here’s a few:
“The author’s point about the use of homophobic epithets is well taken, although hardly a revelation to any male under the age of 30. After that, though, the article begins to go off the rails. The underlying point appears to be an aggressive (and, at least by most women I know, disfavored) feminist point of view that gender differences and masculine/feminine identity are inherently evil. The quip about being “stuck in time” was particularly revealing. The notion that equality for the sexes neccesarily brings with it a complete abandonment of gender roles that have been in place for the proverbial “thousands of years” is an outmoded, 1980’s style feminist point of view that I would like to think has been mostly abandoned. Being masculine is about a lot more than “masculine privilege”. Masculintity carries with it a great many positive traits, such as strength of character, responsibility, and courage, and it would be a sad day indeed if we as a nation ever reached the point where the notion of striving to be masculine at all was viewed as negative. Homophobic epithets and social ostacization is clearly not the correct approach, but there is nothing wrong with boys striving to become men.”
“Why is it so hard for mainstream kids to feel secure in their sexual identities? We say men and women are equal, but we all know they are not identical. We leave it up to kids to figure out how to affirm their sexual identities, and they do so in very crude and extreme ways, which should not be surprising.
How do we honor men and women in their differences, so that kids can feel confident about their sexual identities and have the room, then, to tolerate lots of individual variation? I look at the movie stars of the 30’s and 40’s and they seem so effortlessly confident in this area. The women and men seem so much stronger then, even without cartoonishly extreme bodies. It’s hard to imagine Humphrey Bogart needing chiseled abs to feel manly.
We’ve lost something along the way, and the absence is causing damage.”
- Mike Oliker
“It is precisely the triumph of feminism which has made emasculation such a potent prospect for teenage boys. While I’m not advocating a return to “Father Knows Best” days by any means, we ought to consider just a few consequences that flow from the radical restructuring of gender in the 20th century. To wit:
1) Single mothers are increasingly heads of household. In some, though certainly not all, cases, poverty, crime, drug abuse, etc. are also present. More importantly, the male role model is now the absent father who flees responsibility.
2) On the same note, monogamy and abstinence, once cultural norms (even if never strictly practiced), have been replaced by the chaotic world of “hooking up.” This tends to favor the aggressive alpha male who can humiliate sexual competitors. Ostracized boys are thus excluded not only from male camaraderie, but also female companionship and love.
3) We have come to the opposite extreme-girls are seen as smarter and better behaved. But boys do not want to be girls, no matter how much feminists might wish to equalize the sexes. Masculinity inevitably opposes the feminine, but now it is destructive, anti-intellectual, coarse and brutal.”
I’d love to read everyone’s thoughts on this. It’s a touchy subject, but I think we can and should have a classy and civil discussion on it.
from: Art of Manliness & The New York Times