I had a breakthrough in breakthrough in worship today. It was awesome. I'm usually pretty reserved with my physical demonstration of praise. I didn't really know if the whole shouting thing was for me. It always felt/looked so odd. This morning, a friend of mine came to my church with me. It always feels good to show others where I reload. I actually came on time this morning, whereas I'm usually about 15 minutes late which was sort of my way of dodging most of praise and worship. It wasn't that I didn't like it. I just felt so awkward sometimes. I didn't know what to do with my hands. I'm not the greatest singer, so hearing my voice isn't the most attractive incentive. So, I began becoming acustomed to showing up a bit tardy. = I
Today, I didn't want to show up late with a guest coming. In fact, the night prior I was up pretty late video chatting with the most amazing young woman. Wow, she's special! Anyway, we were up till like 5:something. (Commercial: chatting over webcam is cool but kinda odd. As you talk you want to make eye contact but looking at the camera is the only way to make that appear on their screen. If you do that, you can't see their eyes. = ( . But we made eye contact this one time...dude.) So after we finished this morning, I wasn't sure if I'd be able to wake up so, I set my alarm to like 10:22am as service is 10:45 and only about a 10 min walk away. 5 if I litely jog, which i tend to do - in life. So, I wake up at 9:50am alert. It was the oddest. Even now, as I type, I'm not tired. I make it to church at around 10:40 or so. He's there in the doorway talking to one of the greeters so it seems he's been only been there for a bit. Cool.
So we talk before service starts. He's a really cool guy. I think God has a strong plan in line for him. We start with a meet/greet strangers then partner & pray. Praise and worship is usually after that and so we did. I made some progress early. I sang sincerely and clapped and stepped a bit. I was feeling happy. Played a bit with the clap cadence a bit, raised my hand a bit. It was good. Then we started singing, "We worship you because of who You are." It spoke to me as I meditated on the words. Jahova Jira, Jahova Nisi, Jahova Shalom. So the song dies down and Paster Dale comes up and says he felt led to remind us why we raise our hands. If someone were to come up to us with a gun, a response might be to raise our hands as a sign of surrendor. We raise our hands to God with in similar purpose. We signal our submission to his will for us. Also, if you've ever seen a young child wobble or walk up to you as you stand and raise their hands, you are familiar with another reason we do so. We are signaling to our Heavenly Father, "pick me up" "hold me".
The song started up again and I raised my hands to the heights. I sang despite my off-key vocals. As I meditated further on the words coming out of my mouth I think they detoured and began traveling through my spirit. I felt this small crack inside. It really felt something like a cracked in my spirit. Not soon after that, I noticed I was crying slowly. Then I felt my face squinch for the tears. I continued to sing further felt the small fisure break through and the next thing I knew, I was shouting "YES!" It was amazing. Amazing! standing straight up was bit difficult for a second but it felt so good giving Him the praise. He is worthy of so much more than my small hands and my small voice. As a friend said, "decrease myself and increase Him." It was powerful! I pray I can continue to give him the praise and glory and honor.
So, I've been telling others about it, so I wanted to tell you too. I told my roommate about it and he challenged me to look forward to the time when I can do so when life isn't going so well. I look forward to such a strong faith.